Life has given me more than what I could have asked for. More than what I wanted.
But I cannot complain.
I cannot say it's better if the events that have taken place should never have happened. Because they have made me strong.
They have made me the person I am now. Strong. Smiling. Standing amidst the current.
Living despite the threats of death.
This is a personal blog. The posts were written and the photographs taken by me.
Do you know how much I love you?
Hoarding Love.
I am thirsty; thirsty for love.
I need it so bad.
I feel so incomplete, just like the moon out tonight. I am lonely. You can see it in my smile. It doesn’t even reach my eyes.
I feel incapable, incapable of loving. It seems as though I keep on giving and giving love, without receiving anything in return. Am I doing something wrong? Because if love is not in giving, then I do not know how to love.
Why?
All I can think of now are questions. Questions that keep on sprouting no matter how hard I try to kill them. Perhaps it’s because the answers are the very facts that I cannot bear to admit.
But I am still hoping.
In time, the moon will become full. And maybe, just maybe……so will I.
You’re missing a single person but the whole world seems massively depopulated.
It’s so hard that you’re so far.
Words.
Words can hurt a lot more than we think they do. You may let a few insults go by, but at the end of the day, you know they just get to you.
In front of other people, you’re okay. You smile. You laugh. But when you’re all alone at night and no one can see you, you just break down and cry.
Break down because you’re not good enough. Because you don’t deserve to be loved. Cry because you’re only a sentence to the person who’s your entire chapter.
You worsen your pain even more as your recount all your flaws from head to toe, all your mistakes from the beginning of time, all the people who’ve hurt you without understanding what wrong you did to them.
You just break down.
You just break down and cry.
You jump on me to wake me up in the morning. You steal my half of the chocolate bar. You pinch me when you’re mad. You make me give you a piggyback ride when your feet hurt from walking.
All these things make me love you more, little bro.
I go out with my friends, fall in and out of love with boys, get myself heartbroken and depressed. But when I come home at night, your hug makes Big Sis all happy again.
I love you. Get well soon. :)
Big Sis will always be here to protect you and love you and take care of you. Never forget that.
